Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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