I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
