Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
