Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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