I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
