Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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