Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
