I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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