I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
