let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
