1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
