so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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