i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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