So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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