so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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