You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
