I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
