forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
