Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize