Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
