i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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