My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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