haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
