at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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