Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
