At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
