New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
