Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
