His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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