ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
