she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
