WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
