sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
