I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
