Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
worst night to have a conscience
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
