i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
