So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
