Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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