it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
