hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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