Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my being single is dangerous.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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