a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
