He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
