Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
