everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize