Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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