Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
