I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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