I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
