i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
