i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
