Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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