I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
