Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize