About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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