Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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