He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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