I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
