..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
