Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
