this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
foreskin is a definite game changer
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
