I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
